Subconscious – Friend or Foe?

I know my subconscious is always working in the background. It tends to show itself in the form of remembering obscure facts or names. I will try to think of something, draw a blank and an hour or so later it pops into my head.

Either my internal data retrieval system is very slow or I have so much useless data in my head that the search algorithm takes some time to complete.

It also is very good at helping me work through story ideas, plotting and story problems. I give some thought to whatever element is troubling me, set it process and go about my other daily tasks. Sometimes I go for a walk to really focus on the issue. In both cases, something usually turns up.

But recently, I have discovered the dark side of this. Well, maybe discovered isn’t quite the right word. I have evidence that my subconscious needs to be blamed for a couple things: namely a lack of sleep and an abundance of unnecessary stress.

Having the ole internal CPU chugging away around the clock has had the unfortunate net result of less sleep. I just cannot turn my brain off long enough to get the zzzz’s I require. At least, that’s the case when I’m busy working on a story.

The same is true of my stress level. With deadlines happening, my adrenaline is always flowing and I seem to be going a hundred miles an hour in as many directions constantly. It gets a lot done, but I also feel like some major static charge is continuously building up in my body just waiting for the right moment to blow me up.

So, which is the stronger force here? Friend, as in when it helps the creative side of me to shine for Foe when it causes me to lose sleep and get grouchy(er)?

Honesty, I think it is an unanswerable question. Without it, I wouldn’t be who I am. I suppose I just have to embrace that part of myself. Use the darkness for good, whenever possible.

That, and try not to spontaneously combust.

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