Posts Tagged ‘family’

26
Aug

Mid-life Crisis

   Posted by: Michell    in Irreverent Muse

I’ve seen other people have a mid-life crisis where they buy a banging sportscar (note: use of word banging is merely my attempt to feel younger and more relevant) or trade in a spouse for a newer model. My fast-approaching high-school reunion (tomorrow, and no, I’m saying which one) has made me realize that I really need to get onto one of my own and soon. Otherwise, I’ll be retired by the time I actually get around to it.

But, what purpose does a mid-life crisis actually serve?

I think, and it is only my opinion, is that those people who suffer said affliction come to a realization that they haven’t achieved all those things they set out to do when they were young. Some compensate by trying to relive their youth through fast cars, hair weaves, inappropriate clothes (pop collar shirts unbuttoned to reveal your man-sweater complete with heavy gold chain; I mean, really?) or young lovers. Others create the so-called “Bucket list” to work through.

All in an effort to be young and hip and maybe fulfill some of our dreams.

The thing about dreams is, they change. Sometimes they become irrelevant, sometimes more important dreams come up and depose the old ones. We also sometimes learn to refine those dreams from the broad ethereal ones to something more concrete.

Now, having a mid-life crisis isn’t something to do lightly. If you buy the wrong car, or get the wrong hair weave you just look ridiculous. If you get the young lover and actually discover you still love your spouse, you can never go back.

So, rather than move serruptitiously into the mid-life crisis (or MLC as I will refer to it from this moment on) I decided to examine the my goals from when I was young.

Let’s see. I wanted to have super-powers by the time I was twenty. <pats self down> Nope, didn’t get those. In hindsight, that’s probably a very good thing. Considering my low opinion of people who speed through playground zones near my house, my lack of super abilities has meant the continued survival of many evil-doers. Chalk one up to dream unfulfilled.

I have, however, written a book that is going to be published next year about a boy who decides to be a superhero. Maybe the dream didn’t fade after all. I think it was probably just rechanneled to something less destructive.

Um, how about the one where I become immortal? Nope, that one didn’t happen either. Still, I DID write a story about an immortal who lost everything but her immortality and the lengths she went to trying to become powerful again. Not a very nice person at all. Whew! Dodged a bullet on that one.

I wanted a family of my own when I was young. Check. Got one of those, and a great one at that. I’ve also got more friends than I ever thought possible, so I’m very lucky that way. Big checkmark now.

Rich and famous? Nope, but that was never a goal. I mean, who wouldn’t like to be able to do whatever they want whenever they want? Still, it wasn’t something that I ever got too worried about.

That leaves one last dream worth talking about. Being a professional writer.

When I conceived that particular goal, I had no idea what it meant. It was infinitely more probable than getting super-powers or immortality but it was also infinitely harder. We comic book readers know that the first two only need timing and luck. The last one needs luck, sure, but it also requires hard work, perseverence, patience and, well, more hard work.

It also means defining for oneself what is meant by professional.

In my case, I now know I want my work published and generating enough income that I can retire earlier from my current career. I also want to be able to write until I can’t write any more and still expect to see my stuff in print. Anne McCaffery and Terry Pratchett are two of my favorite authors and that is exactly what they continue to do even now.

While I can’t see into the future, I do know I’ve had some short stories published AND I have the aforementioned Boy Superhero novel coming out next year along with some self-published work.

I do believe that dream is coming true.

That can mean only one thing: MLC averted. Sorry Mr. Car Salesman, but please cancel the order on that sportscar.

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11
Nov

Take a Moment to Say “Thank You”

   Posted by: Michell    in About Writing, Irreverent Muse

I talk a lot about writing and the many challenges I face in doing it. Sometimes I complain about how much time it takes or how I hate waiting.

Bitch, bitch, bitch. It feels like that is all I do some days.

I know I celebrate some of the triumphs but I just realized that I have sorely neglected to say two words to a number of very important people.

Thank you.

I talk about my obligations to my family all the time but I don’t think I’ve ever said just what my family has done to allow me to pursue this dream of mine. Let me fix that (major) oversight on my part.

First and foremost, let me say just how amazing my family is. They tiptoe around the house (sometimes) when they know I’m trying desperately to get my writing and/or my podcasting done. They might want to visit, or watch a loud movie or simply hoot and holler and have fun, but they give me the quiet I sometimes need when I need it.

They also give me the time to create. I know my wife, son and daughter all have things they want to do with me and I also know they often will postpone those activities so I can sit down at the keyboard and write.

There can be no greater evidence of that sacrifice than the month of November and no greater time than this year. I’m trying to do NaNoWriMo, finish the edits on my novel, produce three episodes of my podcast and a host of other things too. To say my time is at a premium would be to understate the value of the word premium. My son has started some activities that he would dearly love to have me involved in but I have been able to only provide occasional time for. Still he soldiers on and reports his progress every night. My wife has things she wants/needs me to do that are on a temporary hold. My daughter is in the same boat. It can be frustrating for them and I appreciate the sacrifice of time they give me.

When I first got started with writing I struggled. I wrote the first chapter of my first novel so many times it is pathetic. I needed a way to get past that and move on to chapter two, but how? I thought about writing courses, but  I could never find anything that looked like it would work for me locally. When I did find a course (via correspondance) it was hella-expensive for a family that had very little money. My wife knew of my struggles (how could she not) and encouraged me to sign up any way.

That course made a HUGE difference for me. It made me look deep into the writing and actually learn the proper mechanics. It gave me the kick to get past that first chapter and finish the book and it gave me the tools to keep improving.

Then there are the conventions and other writing related activities and memberships that cost money (and time). My wife never thinks twice about them. She constantly encourages me to go and helps me to find ways to attend them. And make no mistake, they are important. It will be because of the conventions (and other writing related activities) that I will get my first book published. Of that I am certain.

No, I could never have gotten this far without my family’s active support and sacrifice. To them I can only say “Thank you” and “I love you all.”

But they are not the only ones who have supported me. There’s also the legion of friends and well wishers who have put up with my constant chatter about writing and my progress in it. I’m sure there have been times when you have started to feel your eyes glaze over but you still listened and offered words of encouragement. To all of you, I also say thank you. I don’t know about all writers, but I’m certainly one who needs to hear positive things and encouragement to keep moving forward.

As I have said many times before, writing can feel like such a solitary activity. It’s important to remember that behind the solitude is an army of supporters and it is the community of family and friends that make the activity that is writing worthwhile.

So, to all of you, I say “Thank you” for you past, present and future support. I couldn’t do it without you.

Personal Update

I didn’t quite get the 25K words finished by the end of the weekend like I had hoped, but by the time of this writing I will have exceeded 26,000. Not bad for 11 days.

I’m also finished this round of edits on my novel and it has been officially sent to the editor. My fingers are crossed harder than ever.

I hope you’re all doing well too in your projects.

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